Jinxie You Evil Cat

Once a year the Lexington Herald Leader publishes obituaries for its readers pets. If you have ever been a cat owner you can appreciate this one...

Jinxie
You evil feline. For 16 years you swiped food from others' plates. Oh, the many times you ran through wet paint. The times you threw up on our clothes, and pooped under our beds. You tore holes in our ductwork, robbing us of heat to make the crawl space a winter paradise. You urinated secretly on our gas logs, which upon ignition caused sudden evacuations of the house as the horrible burning aroma gagged our family and friends. You once jumped into the pool, only to shred the arm of the man who was saving your wicked life. When your rule was threatened, you lured unwitting other cats and kittens onto Colby Road to meet their demise. You survived long on your wits and foul deeds. But now, no longer will your sandpaper tongue wake us up at all hours. No longer will we hear your screams of pleasure and pain in the night air. And to the amazement of all, you managed to die in your sleep. We'll miss you, old buddy!

I am still laughing at this one! Enjoy!