I started this blog to have a place to show off the kids. Both sets of grandparents live out of town plus we have extended family all across the country. I wanted them to see the boys grow and give everyone little tidbits of our daily lives. As time has gone on, my blog has progressed. Sometimes I use it as a platform, sometimes as a way to brag on myself, and, yes, I still like to show off my boys.
Today I need this blog as a form of therapy.
Today I witnessed the saddest thing I have ever experienced.
Today I will forever be changed.
Our friends and neighbors lost their son on Thursday. His funeral was today. Colin McConaughy was only 2 years old.
Sitting in the church I recognized about half of the people as neighbors. Jacob and I sat with my closest friend Tracy. In front of us two neighbors and their families that have become like family to us. None of us spoke. There were a couple of goofy faces between the kids, but the parents couldn't even look at each other.
The service started with the hymn "On Eagle's Wings". Even on a normal Sunday this song chokes me up. None of us could sing. Then a very small casket was slowly carried to the front of the church. The tiny silvery blue casket was adorned with white roses and blue carnations. It was beautifully sad. Colin was followed by his parents. Andrea and Rob had tears coming down their faces. So did the rest of us.
The mass was very sweet. Father John said perfect words to Colin's family. Words that just seemed appropriate. Words that they needed to hear.
When the mass was over Father John said that the parents would like to read a letter that they had written to their son. There was a sorrowful gasp throughout the church. Rob slowly approached the podium. Andrea couldn't find the strength to stand up and go with him. So Rob read their letter. After he said the words, "Dear Colin," the sobbing began. Not from Rob, but from every parent in the congregation. There was this blanket of saddness that came over every person there. I listened to every word that Rob read. This letter could have been written by any one of us. He talked about Colin's first words, his love of the letter Q, him being "Mommy's shadow". The most heart wrenching part was when he read Goodnight Moon and finished with "Goodnight Colin. Goodnight noises everywhere."
There wasn't a dry eye in the church.
This saddness was overwhelming.
We took them dinner tonight. I had to say a prayer for strength before we left the house. I didn't want to fall apart in front of them. We rang the doorbell and they welcomed us into their home with open arms. My small contribution to their awful day just didn't seem like enough. I wanted to cry and scream, "WHY? WHY! WHY?" We talked for about five minutes. I told them how much their letter ment to all of us and how much Colin has changed our lives. Andrea smiled and said that she was happy we had a chance to meet Colin and be part of thier lives.
Tonight I will hold on to my boys a little tighter and a little longer.
Tonight I want my friends and family to know how much I love them and care about them.
Like I said, today...I am forever changed.
7 comments:
Oh Kat, I am weeping reading your story. Love is so universal. My heart breaks for them all. I know this sorrow is felt by all of you who know them, but also for those of us who don"t.
Words can not express... Your blog post is beautiful as our you. Thanks for sharing. I love and hug you sweet girl.
This is so heartbreaking Kat. This is every parents' nightmare. I am a crying mess just reading these posts. You are such a strong friend to be there for them. They must really appreciate you guys. I feel so sad for them and everyone that was a part of Colin's life.
Kat. Awake in the middle if the night, again. Checking on you and your goings on. Sniff. Sob. What a profoundly sad ... I can't find the word... We know it's not a "moment" or an "event" or a " week". No for this family it's before and after. It's life changed forever. It's living before Colin. It's life after Colin. The point in time that altered living. Thanks for the tribute. Glad your friends have your support. As parents, we know there are no words that are adequate. Having your ear, or your quiet company may help them endure the piercing pain.
We are praying for this family and for you guys. We love yall so dearly and think the world of you. Your heart is beautiful and your small act of kindness, I am sure forever will be remembered.
Thank you for your wonderful comments. I am Rob's Aunt and was there for the ceremony. Rob and Andrea have only lived in Fort Mill for about 6 months - I think it says a lot about your community that they got so much support from their neighbors, so I want to thank you and everyone in your community for being there for my nephew's family.
I am charmed by your blog post about Colin. Rob and Andrea are our dear friends - Rob and my husband were college roommates and travel buddies back in the day. Our hearts remain heavy as we try to understand and make sense of such a sudden loss. The McConaughy family just visited us in November, and it was a wonderful day of watching the boys and my daughter play. Sadly we couldn't make it to the wake or mass - despite our longing to. Your summary of the service was just what my heart needed. "Goodnight Moon" will never be the same story for me again. Thank you for taking care of Rob, Andrea, and Andrew. They are very blessed to call you friends.
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