After the panic set in from quitting my job to be a stay at home Mom, a neighbor introduced me to our local MOMS Club. I instantly fell in love with this group of women. They are fun, funny, and we were all in the same boat. This club showed me this unknown subculture of free things to do for stay at home Moms between 9am-5pm. Amazing!
One thing I loved about this group was each child was in a playgroup with kids their own age. Jacob's playgroup only had four kids in it. After the kids went to Kindergarten the other 3 moms moved away so we disbanded.
Brady's playgroup was completely different. It was HUGE. There were about 13 kids in it. Whenever we got together it was chaos...in a good way. We met each week at someones house and once a month at the park. I so loved this group. After one marathon playdate at my house I found Brady's sheets in his closet and chalk hand prints up the stairwell. You know the kids had a good time!
Well, now that Brady is in preschool I dropped out of MOMS Club. I felt like he didn't need it anymore. I didn't realize that I still needed it! I miss them so much.
I rarely see them. Occasionally I will bump into them at Target or the grocery store. I keep up with them through their blogs and on facebook, but it is just not the same. I miss the weekly playgroups and watching the kids play and chatting with my friends. I truly miss it.
Here is my delimma.
About two years ago both of my boys were bullied. Bullied at one of these treasured playgroups. I confronted the mother of the two boys that were harassing my boys. She said that she thought the whole thing was "kind of funny!" I was shocked that this person (who I thought was a very good friend) thought that it was "funny" that her kids were kicking, hitting, and slamming doors on my kids. Funny? I know that my kids do things that I wish that they wouldn't, but I try and make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable and we leave. Simple as that. On this occasion this mother didn't remove her kids and they kept bulling mine....so WE had to leave. As she rewarded her boys with a Chick-fil-a lunch, mine went home with bruises and tears.
Kids forgive and forget so quickly. I tried. I truly tried. I told myself that this shouldn't ruin a friendship. After a couple of months I realized that the other person didn't feel the same way. The friendship was over. She even told me to "F#@* off at a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. All I could say was, "Really? Here? At Chuck E. Cheese?" I've never been told to F#@* off before. This was totally new territory for me. How do you react to something like that?
Fast forward to today. I was so excited to see a message in my facebook inbox about a get together for all of the Moms in our playgroup! All of the kids are in preschool so it will be just us Moms! They are planning on meeting for lunch and I was literally jumping for joy!! My giddiness faded...quickly. The bully Mom RSVP'd that she will be attending. I almost cried. What do I do? Do I go and ignore her? Do I not go and avoid her evilness? Is it time for me to put on my big girl pants and go? My greatest fear is that she will cause a scene. The last thing I want to do is to be in a restaurant in front of all of the Moms that I adore and have her embarrass me....again. (sigh)
10 comments:
Kat.....you NEED to go!!
All of these women are your friends. You cannot let that one person bully YOU like her children have done to yours.
I really do not believe that she would make a scene in front of a group who loves you. By letting her ruin such a good time for you, you are permitting her to continue bullying. You don't have to worry about your boys, so go with your head held high.
Ignore her and have a blast with your old pals!
I had no idea any of this had happened, but I'm so sorry. PLEASE still come to the lunch!!!! I love running into you at the library and Target, but would really like to sit and chat. Come!!!
GO! Definitely GO! I had tears reading that. No one should make you feel that way. You're an amazing woman, mother and friend. Thank you for the heads up about the lunch. I may have to take off work and crash it! Especially if I get to see you!:D
GO!!! Don't let her ruin your plans!! Big girl panties are a must in this situation! Ignore her and have a great lunch. Good luck Kat!
i will clearly be the voice of dissent when i say: it's okay if you don't go.
as someone in a slightly similar situation, i can tell you that i've never been able to "ignore" someone who's caused me angst when we're in a group situation, no matter how many other friends are there to act as buffers.
the stress is always there, the worry that something will be said, etc., and i can never fully relax.
but that's just me.
first, where is everyone meeting and can i come too because i miss everyone SOOOOOO much!!!!
and second, i had NO idea this had happened to you and it makes my stomach hurt to think of it.
for what it's worth, i don't know if i would go or not, but i sure as hell would call up the girls i did want to see and set up my own "girls time" because i know lots of us love you and would love to spent some time with you!!!
either way, good luck and chin up!
when was/is this? what did you decide?
It is on the 24th. AND I'm going!
::::::::clap clap clap:::::::::
so someone by the name of megan happened to mention when and where this is happening and if you all wouldn't mind, i might crash the party because i would LOVE to see you all!!! so glad you will be there!
Post a Comment